Our family tradition is to just stay at home and contemplate during the Holy Week. On Maundy Thursday, the whole family plus some members of my dad’s side of the family goes on a Visita Iglesia. We try to visit as much as 11 to 14 churches in a day. On Good Friday, the men in the family would walk from Sto. Domingo Church to five or six different churches as a penitensya (sacrifice).

The rest of the week, we try to stay at home and be silent and reflective. That’s what we do every Lenten season. We don’t go out of town like what other families do. My dad is strict when it comes to that. He also does not want us to go swimming or being just to noisy during this week. He’s a conservative when it comes to commemorating special Catholic occasions.

My cousin is once again ended the school year with a spot in the Dean’s List. She is really making her mom, her brother and the rest of the family so proud of her!

You know, when you look at my cousin, you will immediately think that she’s one of those airheads who don’t really study but just hang around the campus. But when you get to know her, you will realize that she has a clear cut view of her future and her goals are centered around her studies. She also prioritizes her family the most.

I am just proud of her. We may not be that close that I do tell every one I know that I have a really smart cousin around.

I’ll be honest and tell you that I am not a very patient person. I totally lack that virtue. Patience. I grew up with my every whim being given to me. Right away! So you can imagine why I didn’t learn being patient.

But I must say that I’ve been trying so hard to learn this virtue. I know I can’t do it overnight but one day at a time. I am learning patience from the little kid at home. I am learning patience from my online work. I am learning patience from my surroundings. And I am praying for God to help me learn.

Are you patient?

A kid’s trust is absolute. Have you noticed that when you extend your hand to a kid, signaling for him or her to jump, he or she will jump blindly? They trust you to catch them when they fall. They don’t have any hesitation that they might get hurt.

I wish adults can still have that blind faith, that absolute trust on people around them. But people grow up to the harsh reality of life. You don’t give your absolute trust to another person unless they’re family. Because you might end up getting hurt when you do.

Do you think you’re faithful?

Yes. Spiritually, I can say that I believe in a Higher Power. I believe in God. I know that He will take care of me in times of great need. He will not give me anything I can’t handle.

I’ve had really bad experiences in the past. Financially, work-wise… there were too many setbacks. I’ve fallen 100 times but 101 times I got back up on my feet.

I read that…

People with faith—whether it’s in a higher power or in their own capacity to be present to the unfolding moment—are able to create meaning out of adversity, which helps prevent despair and depression.

Faith for me is believing that He will always be there for me no matter what.

He threw away our friendship over money. I know that ours is not a rare case and in fact very common. But it still hurt so much. I don’t know what run in his mind when he decided to stop talking to me. I do know that he was mad at me for getting mad at him. He had gone bonkers over alcohol and his family problems and his ego. He couldn’t take the fact that his wife is the one earning money for the family. He’s the man and in his mind, he should be the one working to feed his wife and two kids. What can he do? He is an undergraduate. And he’s sick, too! He can only do so much.

But his pride got in the way. And alcohol. He bungled the work I gave him. Of course I wouldn’t pay him for it! He knew the conditions and he was mad that I got mad at his sloppy work.

The money he owed me is irrelevant. The number of years we’ve been friends that he just threw away is the one that I regret the most.

Happiness is a choice. We can choose to be happy with whatever we have or wherever we are. We can choose to be happy about whoever we are with. Or we can choose to turn our backs on happiness and be miserable and blame others.

I once read that happiness is a conscious effort to achieve whatever goals we have. If we do achieve those goals, then we become happy. It is wrong to make it dependent on another person. Happiness is all up to us.

Remember that.

From time to time, I check the FB pages of my ex-friends. I can’t help it! If I am melancholic, I dig up the good memories in my mind and would miss some of my old ex-friends. I found out that one of them is now married to her long-time crush. The other one is still single and is always out of the country traveling. I just miss them both so much that I ended up teary-eyed while reminiscing about the past.

The one who’s already married is the friend that I miss the most. She’s the twin that I never had. I learned while browsing her information that she’s still an entrepreneur. She’s selling so many stuff in Multiply. And up to now, unconsciously, she’s helped me think about something from which I can earn money.

Even far apart, we still have the same ideas and crazy stuff in our minds.

Truth be told, I dread being so happy. Because have you noticed it? When we are so happy, sadness creeps in. It has always been like that with me. That’s why whenever I feel so darn happy, I feel guilty. It’s like I might be luring sadness to come creep into my life.

It’s an absurd idea, I know. Although there have been instances in the past that this happened to me. You can say that I am just wary. Who likes problems and bad things happening to us, right? I know that this is a hindrance for me to enjoy life to the fullest. But what can I do? I am also really afraid of something bad happening to me and my family once again.

My FB status says: I don’t think I will see this person in the same light again. Everytime I see something about the person, I feel like doing something unspeakable. Aargh!

I think that the damage will forever be there. No amount of repair can mend it. I can be civil. I can drink beer with him. I can be happy for the person. But I will never ever be able to become real friends with him. After seeing the things he wrote about me…

I am so tempted to post it here but never mind. As I’ve said before, I can be magnanimous when I feel like it. I can forgive and forget. In this case, though, I have forgiven but I will never forget.

My sisters and I already made a pact. Come the end of this school year, by second week of April, we will be dragging ourselves to the nearest park every morning to run and do brisk walking. We need it. We are getting older by the day and being overweight can be a big hassle for us.

We are all determined to be fit by the end of summer. Hopefully, lose weight a lot!

I just hope my uncontrollable cravings won’t ruin this goal for me. Mind over matter.

This would have been a cool place to be right now…

The water is so near. Plus the place looks cozy. A place where I can read a good book or just catch up on sleep. And then whenever I feel the urge to submerge myself in water, I just have to go to the beach nearby.

Sounds like pure bliss to me!

The heat is starting to get so unbearable these days. I know it’s summer here in the country but the weather is driving people crazy! I really am so thankful for the fact that I am working at home. Otherwise, I would be one of the crazy people walking under the blistering sun on weekdays rushing to work.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the sun. I love a sunshine-y day. But sweating? That’s what I don’t like at all! Unless I am at the beach or near a pool and I can dip in the water anytime I want.

How about you do you love the sun and the blistering weather?

I swear sometimes it feels like I need to starve myself literally just so I could lose weight. I cut down my intake of sweets. I haven’t been drinking sodas for over two months. I don’t eat chocolates or candies unless there’s an occasion. I have been doing things for me to lose weight.

The only think I have a hard time giving up is rice. Aside from it being a staple in the country, I just don’t feel full without rice for lunch or dinner. Maybe it’s just psychological but it is the only thing that is hindering my weight loss progress.

I wish I can give up rice. Even lessen my intake. I wish I don’t get so hungry easily.

I wish. Sigh…

At the beach. Relaxing. Soaking in the sun. Walking on the sand. Thinking of nothing but the next scrumptious meal to be served. Or what fruit shake to order next.

A girl can dream…

• I want a new digital camera. My old digicam is still working but it was thick compared to the new models that are coming out which are thin. It also uses a rechargeable battery. I want a Cybershot or a Canon. Of course, I still need to save up for it. Spending for this year is planned, budgeted first. That way, I won’t be tempted to overspend like I did the past three years.

• Someone I know was being invited by her friends to dinner. Her friends really went out of their way to invite her because they miss her. But instead of being happy with it, she got annoyed! She told the person who texted her to inform her 3 days beforehand so she can tell them if she’s available or not. Wow.

• My guilty pleasure, PerezHilton.com is no longer how it used to be. It’s now obviously written by someone else who’s not as witty as Perez. You can tell from the number of comments that the popularity of the site is never the same as before.

• Yesterday was my ex-best friend’s birthday. She’s the only friend I had that is the exact replica of my mind and heart. I miss her. And our crazy daily conversations from 10PM to 4AM. The phone line was literally burning from our girl talks! I wonder if she sometimes misses me, too. Sigh.

Of all the friends I gained over the course of my life, the one I had so much connection with was S. It was unbelievable for me to find someone who had the same taste in music, books, boys, and movies. Unbelievable even to find someone who share the same views on life as I do. You can say that I found half of myself in her. I loved her like a sister and I know she felt the same way.

Something happened for her to walk out of my life. It was over a dispute I had at work. We had another friend to whom we were both close to. A big misunderstanding happened and since the other friend was in allegiance with my former boss, the dispute grew big. Until I found myself shutting them both out of my life. It was a painful period. I still regret not talking to them after I resigned from my job. It would have cleared things up. But then I was hurt and not thinking rationally that time.

Looking back, I am not so sure anymore if we could have worked things out. I guess something as precious as what I had could really be taken away in an instant. S was a friend I had for a season. Someone who made me happy when problem after problem marked my life. Someone who helped me know who I truly am. Someone who made me realize what friendship is.

I am remembering those years I was still friends with her. It’s her 32nd birthday today. Had we still been friends, I know I would have been over to her house celebrating this day with her. Alas, it won’t ever happen again.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. S/he has come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

S/he is there to meet a need. Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, s/he will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes s/he dies. Sometimes s/he walks away. Sometimes s/he acts up or out and forces you to take a stand. What we must realize is that the need has been met.

When a person comes into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. S/he may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. S/he may teach you something you have never done. S/he usually gives you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. You must accept the lesson, love the person/people anyway, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Source: Anonymous